The Number 1 Life Stressor is ...
Change.
One minute you are safe. Your life is predictable. You are in control until something out of the blue side swipes you.
It can be in the form of a financial blow, it can be a breakup, or a job loss.
Stress use to help us survive in a hostile environment for thousands of years.
But those old threats are gone.
The new ones came with civilization and our bodies still respond like it is life and death.
Stress is suppose to be a short-term mechanism to get over some danger. It was not meant for long term, yet we use it and abuse it to the point that our bodies start to show the wear and tear physically, emotionally, and mentally.
The funny thing is that these stressors will not go away. There were always be change. There will always be challenges for us. Anyway who tells you that your life will forever be smooth sailing and be carefree are not telling the truth. The method is to take on these stressors face on. We need to become aware of them, use tools that work us to cut these monsters down to little manageable bits, and move on to something different and better!
Change.
One minute you are safe. Your life is predictable. You are in control until something out of the blue side swipes you.
It can be in the form of a financial blow, it can be a breakup, or a job loss.
Stress use to help us survive in a hostile environment for thousands of years.
But those old threats are gone.
The new ones came with civilization and our bodies still respond like it is life and death.
Stress is suppose to be a short-term mechanism to get over some danger. It was not meant for long term, yet we use it and abuse it to the point that our bodies start to show the wear and tear physically, emotionally, and mentally.
The funny thing is that these stressors will not go away. There were always be change. There will always be challenges for us. Anyway who tells you that your life will forever be smooth sailing and be carefree are not telling the truth. The method is to take on these stressors face on. We need to become aware of them, use tools that work us to cut these monsters down to little manageable bits, and move on to something different and better!
Here is a blog post I wrote about this idea of adapting to Change which I now see as dealing with life stressors.
I overheard a conversation about the many companies that have come and gone. And the remark that one of the speakers was this:
"If you don't move with change, you will become extinct."
I understood what they meant. Companies have to be cutting edge to survive. Then I started to think about change in the general sense and how much we all hate it.
Two Major Changes in my Life that have caused a shift.
One was the death of my father three years ago that has left my mother unable to cope and turned me into her prime caregiver. I was now responsible for her all of a sudden which was scary for me since I lived very freely and independently up to that point.
Second was my mother's stroke that came this past December which has disabled her physically. She cannot be by herself. She needs to bathed, fed, and exercised. I am there for most of the weekday evenings and weekends. My sisters do help when they can and give me that needed time off. But you can imagine, it was yet another unexpected and unwelcome change.
Change is Inevitable.
Like anyone, I had fought hard against these changes. I wanted my mother to quickly become independent after my father passed. I wanted my mother to quickly get physically independent after her stroke. However, I could not change her, nor could I change the circumstance. The only thing I had left in my toolbox was me. I had to find a way to adapt to these changes.
Tools for Embracing Change
Jason Clarke, who an author as well as founder of Mindsatwork in Australia, spoke about why we do are best to block change and what to do to overcome it. He did a Ted Talk in Perth a few years ago and here are some interesting points he makes.
7 Classic Reasons Why We Say "No" to Change:
1. "I'm too full of emotions and fears to think."
2. "This has all come as a shock."
3. "I'm scared of the transition, not the idea."
4. "I don't know how big of a deal this change really is."
5. "I don't see how I fit into any of this."
6. "I feel like I have no say in what happens."
7. "I'm fed up with phony change that goes nowhere."
Solutions to Embracing Change
Clarke in his Ted Talk is able to give a solution for each "reason" listed above. In a nutshell, if you look at this list, you can already see that the underlying driver for these objections is essentially Fear of the Unknown (Stressor). You can check out his talk below:
If you go to 3:49, he presents his solution to Reason 1. which is emotional and fear based. I was fascinated by how the people in his workshop transitioned from their feelings to hope for the future.
If I apply to what he says to my own personal life with my mother, I realize that the focus should not be about how my life was before. A lot of the future is unknown and she as well as I have to deal with her present condition. There has to be a lot of acceptance on both of our parts. We should both look at what "we can do" as opposed to what "we can't". This can apply to any stress we feel in our lives.
The thing about my relationship with my mother is that has always been rocky from the past. One benefit is that there has been resolution on many levels.
Change is.
Embrace it!
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If I apply to what he says to my own personal life with my mother, I realize that the focus should not be about how my life was before. A lot of the future is unknown and she as well as I have to deal with her present condition. There has to be a lot of acceptance on both of our parts. We should both look at what "we can do" as opposed to what "we can't". This can apply to any stress we feel in our lives.
The thing about my relationship with my mother is that has always been rocky from the past. One benefit is that there has been resolution on many levels.
Change is.
Embrace it!
If you enjoyed this post and you want me to email you to stay connected, sign up for my email newsletter. You can unsubscribe anytime and your information will remain private ... not for sale! Fill out the below details and look forward to hearing from you!
